Easy Tip for Teaching Kids to Obey FAST!!!

Hi, this is David. You're used to hearing from my mom, but it's me today. Quite humorously, I'm actually going to share a parenting tip from my great masses of parenting experience, which pretty much amount to owning a dog.  (However, I was a pretty good Neopet user, except when I forgot to feed them for weeks. Good thing internet-based virtual pets don't die.)  Anyway, I'm sharing this because I was a kid once (see the attached picture for proof), so although I haven't really had a lot of parental experience yet, I've been on the other end at least. 

Picture this:  It's time to leave for X appointment. You're late out the door. Time is of the essence.

"Jimmy, put your shoes on super fast!" 

Was it magic? Was it a miracle? Did your child fall into a rip in the space-time continuum and instantly reemerge with his shoes on and tied, and on the correct feet to boot? Who knows, but there he stands, and it's only been 30 seconds!

Is this what it looks like at your house? If so, congrats, you are probably a superhuman and should be awarded some sort of medal!

If not, you are not alone. Like, really. But it doesn't have to be that way. Here's an idea that will help to make this dream a reality. I remember my mom using it when I was a kid.

It's called "3 Candy Speed."  If you're familiar with the book, On Becoming Childwise, by Gary Ezzo, that's where it comes from.  The process is simple:

1. Grab 3 candies. If you don't want to use candy, you can use small units of money or anything else your child will be interested in consuming. (The kind of things that don't result in a hospital trip, of course.)

2. Ask your child to complete the desired task.

3. If your child did the task quickly and you only had to ask once, praise the child for doing it at 3 candy speed and explain what that means. If the child gets distracted or has to be asked multiple times, explain that that was 2,1, or 0 candy speed. 

4. Suggest you practice together 1 candy speed. Rehearse with the child what it might look like to complete the task at 1 candy speed. That doesn't mean belittle the child, though. The purpose of this exercise it to paint the picture of what each speed looks like so that the child understands. Then, suggest you practice 2 candy speed by asking him to do it FASTER this time.  Reward or repeat.  Now for the big push, tell him you are going to practice 3 candy speed, but this is EPIC!  He's going to have to dig deep!  This one is "for the BIG money" (or the BIG candy) so pull out ALL the stops!  If he gives it his all (or what you feel he can give as his all at this time), reward him with the 3 candies, celebrating and cheering and gushing all over about it.  This is FUN!  Really show how happy you are at what he was able to make himself do.  Kids need to learn to take charge of their bodies, and they CAN and WILL, especially if they know how great it is to do so!

5. When you are done, explain clearly to the child that when mom or dad asks for them to do something, they will ask them to do it at a certain speed. Then, over the course of the next week, ask the child to complete whatever task is at hand at a certain speed. (If you're not in a hurry, go ahead and use 2 or 1 candy speed sometimes!) and award them the corresponding amount of reward if they earned it. Also, be sure that your own shoes are tied well so you won't fall out of them when your child asks if he can please do it at 3 candy speed. Gotta keep Supermom/Superdad safe.

6. After about a week, you can gradually start to ween them off the reward, "Jimmy, I am SO grateful for how fast you put your shoes on! This time I think you don't need a candy, but I'm SO HAPPY you are learning to be so VERY obedient!"

Well, there you have it. Hope this tip helps, and when your kids start defying the laws of physics with how fast they button up their pants, pat yourself on the back and enjoy it!